A number of years ago I went through the Dale Carnegie training program. My wife and I had just moved from San Diego up to Portland, which was experiencing a slow job market. So without a job prospect, I decided to hang out my shingle and start my own practice. In an effort to set me up for success, my wife signed me up for the program. Of course I had already read Dale Carnegie’s classic “How to Win Friends and Influence People”, but I was a little skeptical about a 12 week course on the topic. However, by the time I was done, I had made some great contacts for my new business, I had improved my public speaking skills and I had learned some invaluable lessons on how to relate and work with people. Really, it turned out to be a class on how to be a descent Human Being.
All of this is coming up now because I was combing through some old files on my laptop and discovered these gems. These were the basis for the course and are the main points of the book. I thought I would post them here and share some of this timeless wisdom.
Become a Friendlier Person1. Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
2. Give honest, sincere appreciation.
3. Arouse in the other person an eager want.
4. Become genuinely interested in the other person.
6. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
7. Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
8. Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
9. Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely.
Win People to Your Way of Thinking10. The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
11. Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
12. If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
13. Begin in a friendly way.
14. Get the other person saying, “Yes, yes, “ immediately.
15. Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
16. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
17. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s ideas and desires.
18. Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
19. Appeal to the nobler motives.
20. Dramatize your ideas.
21. Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader
22. Begin with praise and appreciation.
23. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
24. Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
25. Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
26. Let the other person save face.
27. Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
28. Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
29. Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
30. Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.